‘Our Stories’: Tales of love and loss, family and forgiveness

“When she was eight years old, she needed to start taking care of her brothers and sisters and do housework…. Going to school to gain knowledge was her dream but her father objected to her wish.”

– Phoenix from the Ashes

So writes Amy Ng in her story, “Phoenix Rising from the Ashes,” a retrospective of a respected older relative, Elizabeth (not her real name), who recently turned 100 years old.

Amy, who came from Hong Kong 40 years ago, is a learner in the English Conversation Program at the UBC Learning Exchange. She wrote the story, with some details changed for privacy, as part of an innovative creative writing series that gave participants a chance to practice their English.

Their stories were collected in a short anthology called Our Stories, now available here, some of which participants read aloud at a Downtown Eastside Writers Festival event last spring.

Amy’s story recounts how Elizabeth’s fight to attend school was the first of many battles, some she won—like the right to go to school—and some she didn’t.

“The poor girl worked hard in elementary and high school. She often did housework after school too. When she was 18, she started teaching night school to earn money to support her family and pay for her university fees. Being a charming and modern woman, many of her classmates wanted to date her.”

– Phoenix from the Ashes

Amy said she wanted to tell Elizabeth’s story because she, the women of that generation, and that entire generation together endured so much and became role models for her about “how to face and solve problems.”

Many of the stories in the booklet touch on weighty themes—family, love, loss and forgiveness—something the instructor, Klára Abdi, ascribes in part to her use of sound to help learners tap into their creativity.

Klára is a PhD candidate, a UBC instructor, and long-time language teacher working with the English Conversation Program in a graduate academic assistant role. Drawing on her extensive experience, she would start sessions by encouraging participants to close their eyes and listen to a “short sound bath” of instruments, such as drums or rattles, wind chimes or a singing bowl. (See also: Magical Instruments, in the column on the right.)

“In the class I tried to work with the learners in a holistic way. So, of course we had writing instruction, but with the sound, I wanted to help open up the meditative, experiential and creative parts of their brains,” said Klára, explaining that sometimes the part of the brain that dictates the rules of language—the skills learners are working so hard to develop—can inadvertently inhibit creativity. “Then I had them free-write—writing whatever came to them—and it seemed to completely overcome any kind of writer’s block.”

While Klára said there was never any pressure to share difficult topics, for learners who did want to explore more challenging experiences, she drew on practical techniques she’s been exploring in her PhD thesis about trauma healing that could provide some emotional distance, such as using the third-person voice or changing some of the story details. Amy, whose first language is Cantonese, said it gave her inspiration and helped her organize her thoughts.

“[When World War II broke out in China] She bravely stood in the town square, giving a speech to encourage all citizens to fight their enemies.”

– Phoenix from the Ashes

The stories themselves range across a variety of topics, from a celebration of soccer to a proud mother reflecting on her daughter’s gardening.

In a story called “My Family,” a learner named Ben Matt (not his real name) wrote about the importance of his family: “[My family] are the people I have always turned to for love, support and guidance. Growing up, I learned so many valuable lessons from them, such as respect, passion, kindness and caring for others…. I miss them very much because they are all in Sudan and I am in Canada. I talk to them on video one to two times a week to stay in touch. They mean everything to me.”

For the illustrations, Ayla Cilliers, a UBC Sociology student in an Arts Co-op position with the English Conversation Program, worked closely with each author to create custom artwork.

Klára said there was something important and special, too, about the atmosphere the participants created for each other in the room. “Everyone who is a newcomer,” said Klára, who herself came to Canada from what was then Czechoslovakia at the age of 10, “has struggled and can hold space for each other in that experience.” She said that this added a sense of community and safety in the room, which is essential for learning.

The Learning Exchange often uses arts-based approaches like these writing sessions in its community learning programs. The English Conversation Program, for example, sometimes offers language instruction via choir practice or even dance. Research on adult education shows these embodied approaches can make learning easier and more fun.

And the effect of reading the stories in public as part of the Downtown Eastside Writer’s Festival? “There is some processing happening when you write, but you’re still alone in it,” said Klara. “When you share it suddenly it’s like the group takes this burden and it’s distributed amongst people. It can become a little lighter.”

“Many people were affected by her admonition and joined the army. After the speech, she was approached by a man who recruited her to be a spy.”

– Phoenix from the Ashes

And what happened to Elizabeth the spy? Spoiler: according to Amy, she was captured. And then made a daring escape! How? You’ll have to read that part yourself, along with the many obstacles she faced with grace and determination in the years that followed.

• Read the Our Stories booklet here.
• Learn more about community programs at the Learning Exchange here.

READ: Magical Instruments, by Josephine

The instructor brings six instruments to writing class. She turns off the light in the room and walks around the room, playing each one while passing behind our backs. We close our eyes to meditate to the sounds coming out. Each instrument reminds me of different things.

First the rain stick – it sounds similar to when devotees draw divination lots, interpreted at the official divination stall. They get insights into their fortune for the year ahead. This is a tradition on the third day in the Lunar New Year at Sha Tin Che Kung Temple in Hong Kong.

Second, the rattle is like a flock of birds flying into the sky to other places. It is night time and they come home or go together to find food. I feel they are happy to make noise. We want to know the creation of nature’s life and search for it. I think people want to co-operate and create harmony. We need kindness and tolerance. The other feeling of the rattle, played with mastered gentleness, reminds me of the sound of a waterfall.

Third, the ocean drum emulates the sound of the
ocean that is like the sound of waves crashing and the tide rising and falling on the beach. She moves the ocean drum in a circular way to create a loud sound like a typhoon wave in the sea. My husband told me, when he was an apprentice, he learned ironmaking. He used a hammer to shape the iron and it was very noisy. On the weekend, he would go alone to the beach in New Territory in Hong Kong. He needed to relax and have quiet in his life. He listened to the sounds of the waves that sound just like the ocean drum.

Fourth, the wind chimes sound like a pitched colourful percussion instrument that is called a xylophone, which I played when I was a child. In India, wind chimes are often hung in homes, temples and sacred spaces. The sound is believed to purify the environment, promote positive energy and ward off negative energy and evil spirits. A long time ago, in Chinese tradition, some people hung wind chimes near open windows. When the wind hit the chimes, it would make a sound. If the wind chime was put in the wrong direction or position, I felt like our ancestors that had passed away were coming back to haunt our home. Later few people hung them in their homes.

Fifth, the Tibetan singing bowl sounds like those I heard in the Buddhist Temple which have a short or long echo sound. We also hear the echo sound when people speak out in an empty area. Bells are used during the Qing Ming Festival where they serve to invite and honour the spirits of the deceased. In ancient China, bronze bells were often utilized in rituals and ceremonies, showcasing the country’s rich history in bell-making. Generally, bell towers are three-storey pavilions with bells hung inside. In the bell tower at Yunju Temple in Beijing, the loud and melodious sound of the bell is often used to convene monks. Sounding the bell 108 times every morning and night symbolizes relief of the 108 kinds of trouble of the human world.

Sixth, the Shamanic Drum is big, flat and black.
She uses a mallet to hit it and sings. It is used
in Indigenous traditional events where people
hold flowers, dance and sing. I hear the beats
one by one appearing in my mind, then I close my eyes and gradually feel the sound. To learn music, one must understand the melody. Tunes have notes, and songs are changed by rhythm and timing. Music benefits people – it can help people relax and get out of depression and worry. Musical treatment and meditation help people get their energy back and avoid Alzheimer’s.

READ: My Family, by Ben Matt

My family has always been a big part of my life. My family is large and includes my parents, three sisters and four brothers. They are the people I have always turned to for love, support and guidance. Growing up, I learned so many valuable lessons from them, such as respect, passion, kindness and caring for others. I also learned to have patience and never give up from them. Furthermore, they taught me the importance of hard work and staying together no matter what. I am truly grateful to them, and I know that they will always be by my side, cheering me on in everything I do. They are very helpful and support me no matter what. For example, if I need help with money, they will give it to me. Or when I was with them and was sick, they would take good care of me. I miss them very much because they are all in Sudan and I am in Canada. I talk to them on video one to two times a week to stay in touch. They mean everything to me.

READ: Genuine Warmth, by Jin Wang

Some seniors come to Canada to accompany and take care of their children. They are far away from their hometown, lovers, relatives, co-workers, classmates, and old friends. Here they have few, even no friends to talk to. They live a caretaker’s simple monotonous life. Language obstacles often lead to challenges in expressing their thoughts and feelings. These people need a lot of mental and emotional support and sincere care.

On January 24, 2025, a ping pong contest was held at Carnegie Community Centre. The organizer was Miss Liu, who was in charge of seniors’ events. Because my opponent’s skills were better than mine – in other words, I met the best player in the first round of competition – unfortunately I was defeated. Although I was not satisfied with the result, I had to accept it. A little bit of sadness surged in my heart. In daily practices, my techniques of playing ping pong was above average level among these players. I immediately decided to leave the place of competition.

While I was quickly walking out disappointedly from the room, I heard a voice behind me: “Wait for a moment.” I turned my head and at once saw Miss Liu warmly passing me a Chinese steamed bun, my favourite Chinese food, and two fresh oranges.

After that, surprisingly she gave each player a “Gold Medal”, which was actually a cookie. The cookie’s shape and colour looked exactly like a real Gold Medal. She asked for all participants to put on their Gold Medals, line up orderly and take photos as a group.

Smelling this fragrant Chinese steamed bun, which smelled like my mom’s, seeing two golden oranges which indicate happiness and luck, once again looking at the bright Gold Medal, I couldn’t help myself and gave the amiable and competent organizer, Miss Lin, a big hug. This is the first time in a long time that I hugged anyone.

On January 29, 2025 it was the Lunar Chinese Festival, also called the Spring Festival. A grand celebration was held for those Chinese who could not return to China by the Learning Centre of Carnegie Community Centre.

People from many different countries and Carnegie leaders got together. In addition to coffee and tea, we were treated with famous and traditional Chinese snacks. Following Chinese customs, the Learning Centre’s leaders prepared a basket of “Red Envelopes”, which were stuffed with round and golden chocolates resembling actual Chinese coins. In addition, a big bowl of Golden Coins was provided on the counter at the entrance of the Learning Centre.

The whole Learning Centre was decorated with Chinese traditional pictures, lanterns, dragon toys and the like. All participants were happy to receive a snake-shaped golden cookie, because this year’s zodiac is a snake according to the Chinese calendar. The atmosphere made me feel like I was in China, as if I was just sitting in my living room in my hometown. These relieved our homesickness and the feeling of missing our loved ones.

That day, the Learning Centre’s leaders first addressed those gathered for the celebration. After that, a Chinese senior gave a speech with ardor. Then Chinese poems were recited with profound feelings and sincere blessings. The celebration held a special significance for all who took part. During the

celebration, people chatted with smiles on their faces, had friendly conversations, interesting discussions, hugged sincerely and had their wishes filled. Today, this occasion’s memory is still fresh with me. As a Chinese, I indeed felt warm and supported from the Carnegie Community Centre.

When you get homesick, Carnegie Community Centre can offer you smiles, comfort and compassionate care. When you get into trouble, or you are upset by some matter, it is Carnegie Community Centre that embraces you and provides you with actual help, and tremendous encouragement.

From the bottom of my heart, I profoundly love and appreciate the Carnegie Community Centre. So, I decided to pass the sincere care to other people who need it.